‘A SOCIAL SUICIDE PROJECT’
Wondering into a pyramid of emotion
The throbbing of mental constraint and the desolation of ego
I walked through water
Becoming one with my breath and keeping a constant
Perforated vision so not to distract my mind
from its goal.
I had to re-find myself and in-turn
It is possible I am wrong about everything and it is possible that I am completely full of shit. These are my experiences.
Around the age of 12 my sister took me to my first ever show ‘Red Sparowes’ an instrumental band full of intensity. I was a very intense child. It was in the second grade that I have my first accounts of obsessive actions and intense, pulsating thoughts that wrapped around my brain like earth and the sun. I would sit in class with my head hurting so bad that I couldn’t focus on the teacher, so I would make up my own math assignments and fulfill them at my desk while she was professing English to the class. At that show where my sister reluctantly let me mosh my way to the front, I finally felt comfortable in a place where my insanity was welcomed. I would look around at all the teenagers and 20 somethings while the band would progress into louder drums and even louder distorted guitars and see the sheer aggression in their faces, but this aggression had love. The emotion was completely raw and authentic. I had never experienced that, and I saw a sense of logic to the chaos that brought this culture its purpose. It was a place for social norms to go and fucking die.
People only respect those who
they feel are a better version of themselves.
And fuck those people
And it’s true, people want to fit in, people want to feel normal but what about those mavericks who get outcasted by their peers. It’s amazing to watch social norms and the patterns in which the occur. Race taking place of religion, wealth in opposition of truth. Watch ignorance. See its patterns and acclimate yourself to it. If you are aware of someone else’s ignorance, then you should be fully aware of what is making that person ignorant. To adjust yourself and be able to converse with this person and rise you both to a better understanding is the ultimate service you can perform. When you approach a person from a mountain top they cannot hear your shouts at the surface.
But abolish it. I find myself running away from the fashion scene, the art scene and the students and towards the dropouts, the punks, and working-class adults. I love the people in my scene but the longer I’ve been able to sit in it, the more we grow stagnant. Continually change your surroundings and continue to be uncomfortable, that is the only way to change and grow. Commit Social Suicide and you will find a better version of yourself.
‘A Social Suicide Project’ continued
Following “A Social Suicide Project” I was compelled to express through design my struggles with bipolar OCD. Nearly 1 in 5 Americans experiences some type of mental illness.
This human commonality is the inspiration, thrust and vision for the ‘MILITANT’ project. I believe that there are those among us, the leaders, makers and shapers of thought that should band together and encourage a MILITANT attitude and approach toward the subject of mental illness.
The amount of aggression and animosity seen and felt by my peers is astounding. We’re overwhelmed by the buzz of ever escalating political bickering. We’re demoralized as we watch the schools we attend fall into disrepair and feel abandoned by teachers forced to seek greener pastures. Kids and young adults feel ever mounting pressure, often to the point of collapse. Under-exposed adults often have never gained a reasonable understanding of illnesses like anxiety and depression and lack the emotional vocabulary to offer effective help. Too often a person of influence may end up brushing off a serious illness as “just a phase.” I’ve learned that this patronization leads to a kind of resentment which is a common contributor to depression.
It is understandable that a parent would rather not believe that their child is depressed or anxious. Every parent wants their children to live normal and wonderful life. But it’s time we got the fuck over ourselves. MILITANT is about aggressive education and sharing. It’s about understanding that mental illnesses are a state of chemical imbalances in your brain and body. It’s about releasing yourself from a false self-induced stigma.
It’s about healing and sharing and growing and becoming a soldier that fiercely protects and offers steadfast prescience for those experiencing common struggles. Join us. Education is powerful. Use it. Share it.